Do you have a toy PHP elephant? A blue one, or an exotic other color, maybe even a jumbo version? Maybe even more than one? Good, put it or them down on the floor, step away from it for a about 5 meters or so, and look back.
You bought this with your hard owned money. You’ve earned it. It’s yours. But think about this for a while: what if the literally thousands of dollars we as a community spent on stuffed animals, what if we would spend that same amount of money on PHP itself?